Donate Money, and I'll Give You Something!

Let's try to combine charity with content

Among all of the contradictions spit out by the coronavirus pandemic, the most paralyzing might be this: our society likely requires a mass, wartime-like effort to stem the growth and spread of the virus. We all need to pitch in. Except, non-medical and not-deemed-essential professionals are — rightly — being discouraged to leave their homes. Offering up your able, healthy-seeming body just isn’t an option, lest you be carrying the infection.

This, of course, is a newsletter about European soccer. For now, its main purpose, I hope, is to provide a minor distraction and perhaps a tiny bit of joy. But let’s see if we can add a new dimension to it, too. Yesterday, the Bernie Sanders campaign announced that it had raised, in 48 hours, over $2 million for five charities that support the workers and citizens most at risk in our current moment. Here’s who, per the campaign:

Meals on Wheels delivers prepared food to seniors all across the country. This is especially important in the pandemic, as seniors are at high risk, and limiting their need to go to the grocery store by delivering these meals is a critical service.

No Kid Hungry makes sure that children get the food they need, especially since schools are closed across the country. Their service is especially important as families who lose their jobs need to keep their kids fed.

Restaurant Workers’ Community Foundation COVID-19 Emergency Relief Fund is providing direct financial support to restaurant workers who are out of work or have reduced hours because of the pandemic. They are also supporting community organizations of local workers and providing loans to restaurants to re-open when it is safe.

National Domestic Workers Alliance is giving financial support to in-home care workers, nannies, and house cleaners who have to stay home and not work in order to reduce the spread of the virus.

One Fair Wage Emergency Fund gives funds directly to service workers affected by the pandemic, including restaurant, salon, airport, rideshare, and gig economy workers who find themselves out of work or without customers.

So, here’s what we’re gonna do. If you donate anywhere from $1 to $25 to any of these charities, I will write a haiku about your favorite soccer player. If you donate between $26 and $50 to any of these charities, I will write a brief essay about your favorite soccer player or team. And if you donate more than $50, you get to assign me a newsletter topic of your choosing — literally, whatever the hell you want. Once you donate, just send me a screenshot of your receipt. The Sanders campaign has set up a function that divides your donation among these five groups; feel free to use that, too. And if you’re not in the U.S., pick any charity that helps the at-risk groups wherever you live.

Let’s see what we can do. As always, we’re all in this together, people.