128 Comments
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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

What's the best American celebration England could do if they score? Have the CIA initiate a coup in some country with a recently-democratically-elected non-capitalist leader?

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Not even one like? COWARDS.

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Francis's avatar

Finger Guns... Finger guns the entire bench and they all fall down...

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Max Willis's avatar

Do the Donald Trump face and hands combo that Alec Baldwin does on SNL

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

omfg rose lavelle

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Brian's avatar

The American Iniesta

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

*Messi

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Rapinoe is an icon who's scored some huge goals this tournament. Also: Christen Press's first 35 minutes have been better than any 35 Rapinoe's played in France.

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Bobby T's avatar

Yup

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John's avatar

Maybe Jill's not as bad at this as thought

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Brian's avatar

Thank you

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

That's the ol' "get megged, get hit in the face with a shot, and get red-carded" hattrick for Millie Bright.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

If Alisson is hurt, I'm shutting this off and going for a long walk.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

You don't need possession to control a game. Controlling space is more important than controlling the ball -- US did that for most of the game against France and have dominated in that regard so far against England.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Two things I've enjoyed this half:

-Brazil easily marching the ball up to the Argentina penalty area whenever they win possession ... and then just, like, kicking the ball out for a goal kick every time.

-Sergio Aguero, the starting striker for the most intricate-passing club team in the world, turning into Gyasi Zardes every time Messi tries to play a 1-2 with him.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

The US are so good at milking the clock at the end of games.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

WOWWWWWWWWWWWWW

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

WE MUST BE INTELLECTUALLY CONSISTENT WITH OUR VAR CRITIQUES.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

I don't even know what this means.

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Duncan's avatar

Is the offsides VAR just someone photoshopping lines on an image like it looks on the broadcast or is it more sophisticated like the goal-line tech?

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

I don't know for sure, but I'm gonna go with the former.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

That goal was not a great moment for Lucy Bronze, England's best player, who lost her mark at the back post.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Sorry. Jill Ellis is God.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Messi just dropped in as a defensive midfielder, received a pass, played the ball into the final third, then played three one-touch passes to set up a chance for De Paul. Do it if you can, I guess.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Some Messi stuff: five successful dribbles (no one else with more than three), nine attacking-third passes (no one else more than seven), three chances created (no one else more than one). Neither good, nor bad, but he's at least getting on the ball a comparatively significant amount.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

I've loved watching Paredes this tournament. He's misplaced, like, five passes in four games but is also seemingly on the verge of getting red-carded at any moment.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

World-class swing-miss-and-call-for-a-penalty from Ellen White.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Or maybe not! Her heel got clipped.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

I'll quote myself here: "Perfect switch, perfect cross, perfect finish."

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Dan's avatar

Remind me why Horan wasn't starting? That pass was worthy of a chef's kiss.

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Thom Turner's avatar

Does Cameroon have a word for schadenfruede?

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Wesley's avatar

I don't know how everyone feels about this, but I am really offended by Richard Keys tweet, specifically his derisiveness toward Dalian Yifang. He asked where Dalian Yifang was.

Well, Dalian Yifang is in DALIAN! It's sort of the fault of an ignorant, arrogant Englishman that he didn't know where a major port city with rich history and a place where Japanese, British(!!!), and Russian colonial history is still present.

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A.P's avatar

I think the bigger question here is why ignorant, arrogant Englishmen like Richard Keys are still relevant in the first place?

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

That's it for today, all. We'll do more of these soon. Thanks, as always, for reading and for following along.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

I loved that game. I'd much rather madness like that instead of a watered-down version of what we see every weekend. More managers should just say "defend" or "attack" and offer no other advice. In fact, FIFA should limit all coaching to just those two directives. In all seriousness, though, what made that game so compelling -- beyond the atmosphere and the stench of looming death -- was that it was filled with great players trying to figure things out on the fly. The patterns in the club game can often feel systematic of pre-scripted; even if teams haven't practiced the exact attacking moves, they've practiced something similar. In Brazil-Argentina, it was just a ton of on-the-fly problem-solving and in-the-moment individual creativity. Brazil march on; they've lost just one competitive game since the summer of 2016 ad haven't conceded a goal at the Copa America. Argentina, meanwhile, at least put up a fight. They were unfortunate not to score, and they held Brazil to just four shots, but two of them were essentially tap-ins. I'm not sure I'd add that one to the list of tragic Messi losses, though. The game was in Brazil, and Brazil are the best national team in the world.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Oh hey, a Dybala sighting.

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Jeremy's avatar

Is there a tactical reason he doesn't play, or is because he's not friends with GM Messi?

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Jeremy's avatar

Yeah I remember he said like 2 years ago that he doesn't play well with Messi

because they play the same position but it seems like a solvable problem!

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Not to be "this game" guy, but THIS GAME.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

There are so many incredible players out there, the tactics are fucking nightmarish, the field is terrible, everyone wants to murder each other. Hell yes.

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Jeremy's avatar

I expected clownish tactics from Argentina but I thought tite was supposed to be a solid tactician -why do you think Brazil is so disjointed?

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Going up early probably made them more conservative, but they haven't looked cohesive all tournament. Basically, they could get away with the Casemiro-Fernandinho defense when they had Marcelo out there, who passes like Toni Kroos. But now, for as well as Alves has played today, their fullbacks just can't do that. So, Arthur's in there now, but him and Casemiro aren't enough to control a game.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

So, basically they have one passer behind four attackers. ThenCasemiro + three defenders, and then Dani Alves who has no range any more. Just doesn't make sense together.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

They need to just bury Juan Foyth's body in the penalty area. RIP.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Argentina really seem like they're gonna score if nothing changes for Brazil.

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Jeremy's avatar

Commentator curse strikes again!

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

This is a not-at-all impressive performance from Brazil, especially considering that they're, you know, playing at home.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Brazil have still only taken one shot. This is so dumb.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Otamendi's defending on that goal was beautiful. He held his hands behind his back but also dove face-first in the wrong direction to block Firmino's cross.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Can anyone tell me what formation Argentina are playing? It's all very [coach twirls his fingers in the air and flicks his hand toward the center circle without saying anything specific to his players]

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Daniel Freaking Alves is 36 years old.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Daniel Alves just breaking the Argentina defense down and then dropping off a no-look pass. International soccer is so dumb -- and so good.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Only took eight minutes for the first referee-swarm to occur.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

All right! This game is going to be an absolute mess -- can't wait to see how. Abel has a nice rundown of each team for the curious: https://twitter.com/BundesPL/status/1146012900743622657

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Some other notes, courtesy of StatsZone:

-Argentina are undefeated in their last five Copa semis; Brazil are undefeated in their last six.

-Brazil have taken the most shots (84) and allowed the fewest (24) in the tournament. Alisson has only had to make five saves through four games.

-Coutinho's been involved in more shots than any other player (29: 16 shots, 13 chances created). Next best for these two teams are Roberto Firmino, Sergio Aguero, and Lionel Messi all at just 17.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

OK! That was fun; this team plays fun games. I'm coming back at 530 PT for Argentina-Brazil. Thanks for hanging out! And shame on all of you for being afraid of the Central Intelligence Agency!

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CP's avatar

If you’re not back we will know what happened.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Should the US be able to dominate games from start to finish? Probably! But they're manipulating these knockout games about as well as they can. Score early, put numbers behind the ball, attack into space, and then destroy the final 5-10 minutes of every match. You need luck to pull that off -- see: the free kick against France, the penalty save and the VAR against England -- but they're playing "winning" soccer as far as that can even be a thing.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

There have been three total shots this half. Given the scoreline and the stakes ... that is crazy!

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Horan is just incredible in the air. USWNT hitting every goal-kick toward her.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

She's 3 for 15 in aerial duels this game lol. Don't trust your eyes, people!

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Story of the first half: England had 57 percent of the ball, but completed ZERO passes into the box and only attempted three. The US? Eleven for 23.

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Matthew Meeks's avatar

This is interesting. Ellis seems to be favoring a bend don't break defense, but it seems like the team looks best when they're trying to control the game as opposed to sitting back and counter.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

When have we seen them try to control a game?

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Matthew Meeks's avatar

I thought they were doing that before the first goal, then started to sit back a little more. All anecdotal, but certainly seemed like they had more of the ball early on and they were pushing more. Then seemed to let the foot off the throttle.

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Duncan's avatar

Do you think this holds for the 2nd half, both possession and lack of chances?

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

It's set up for England to start pushing more aggressively and the US to have even more space to attack into. England have only taken three shots so far; I think the US is in really good shape.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

The ref should've ended the game after this, imo. Like the snitch or whatever it's called in the children's wizard books everyone loves ... https://twitter.com/mike_sell/status/1146133319010177024

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Perfect switch, perfect cross, perfect finish.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

I wonder if all the early goals are part of a strategy or just due to the USWNT being both really good and really lucky. https://twitter.com/OptaJack/status/1146135320481730561

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

US odds to advance dropped from -275 to -250 when the Rapinoe news hit. Interesting.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Important note: No one knows anything re: why Rapinoe isn't starting.

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Bobby T's avatar

Well maybe Jill

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Pete's avatar

Does anyone else dislike JP Dellacamera on the broadcast as much as I do? It's like his tone and inflection are totally off. It sounds like he's getting really excited for a cross or back pass when his voice inflects. Maybe it's just because I'm at work listening so I'm sensitive to that. But I'll hear him get excited and glance over only to see the defenders knocking it around.

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Alex Z's avatar

Morgan's going to need a month-long ice bath after this tournament

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Dan's avatar

Even more reason after that tackle.

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Jonathan's avatar

In the men's game, most people would say that the best club team in the world would beat the best national team. Would this still hold for the women's game considering the U.S. just beat France who have six players also starting for Lyon? Or would having players like Ada Hegerberg and Lucy Bronze and having more time to use different tactics flip the result? I guess my question is how big is the gap between the top women's national team and top women's club team?

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Shaker Samman's avatar

Similarly, how many goats do you think you could get for this Argentina roster, and are they in the best interest of the club?

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

To get rid of the manager, you have to attach goats. So, it'd net of zero goats, unfortunately.

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Matthew Meeks's avatar

BALL DON'T LIE

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