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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Welp. That should've been a little more fun, huh? Here's where we end things:

1: Liverpool, 99 points

2: City, 81

3: United, 66

4: Chelsea, 66

5: Leicester, 62

17: Villa, 35

18: Bournemouth, 35

19: Watford, 35

20: Norwich, 21

Huge bummers for both Watford and Leicester (and Bournemouth, too). Congrats to Villa (and United and Chelsea). Thanks, all, for following along with me all season. I love doing these chats; they're always thoughtful and lively. Sorry to all the Watford, Bournemouth, and Leicester fans out there.

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Ola's avatar

Thanks for doing the best football writing out there, Ryan

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

LMFAO FINALLY SOME DRAMA

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George McIntire's avatar

THE BARCLAYS

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Sam's avatar

i guess i cant celebrate the DJ Wilson extension yet

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Patrick O's avatar

Like much of the 2020 season: we had to wait A LONG TIME for it, but it got there.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Fitting for United to (nearly) clinch qualification on their ... checks notes ... 84th penalty of the season.

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El Pibe's avatar

Was just gotta write this, but I didn't have the total amount of PKs in front of me. Bruno Penandes to the rescue

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Patrick O's avatar

Anyone who doesn't have Bruno Fernandes on their fantasy team due to the automatic PK a match is a fool

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Some halftime xG totals, per Stats Perform:

-Watford 1.64, Arsenal 1.4

-Leicester 0.3, United 0.3 (yeesh)

-Chelsea 0.99, Wolves 0.06

-Villa 0.24, West Ham 0.38

-Bournemouth 1.4, Everton 1.32 (TURN ON CNBC EVERYBODY)

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Mark Thompson's avatar

Wolves, wyd

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Dan's avatar

0.06 is like a goal kick that went long and Caballero had to grab

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Bournemouth are up 1-0 and now even with Villa on goal-differential. Whoa.

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Jack Dawson's avatar

I’m pulling for Bournemouth to stay up

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

That escalated quickly. Chelsea did nothing for 45 minutes, and they go into halftime up 2-0.

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Jack Dawson's avatar

Vintage Chelsea

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

lol what does this even mean?

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Jack Dawson's avatar

Playing like garbage and somehow getting a goal or two

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Max Willis's avatar

Completely agree I’ll take it

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Opta has a stat called "big chances", which is basically any time a player should be expected to score. Watford have FIVE today against Arsenal.

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Samuel Stalls's avatar

Can't believe I'm saying having Mustafi might have helped...

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Jeff Leitch's avatar

Good Lord. Martinez is keeping Watford at Bay. Doubtful that he stays at Arsenal long-term.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Sam, are you here? And have you bet your life savings on anyone?

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Sam's avatar

lol yes...was on vacay and had bad internet past few weeks. apologies for missing any chats. i took man u -.5 and chelsea pk.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Until two weeks ago, I had never heard of multiple players on the field for Leicester right now.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

United have one shot in the second half. Jesus.

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El Pibe's avatar

It'll work in the UCL next year

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Patrick O's avatar

It's the shot that mattered! 😛

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Ayoze Perez on for Kelechi. I don't understand Brendan Rodgers. I never will.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Watford had a minus-6 goal differential under Nigel Pearson, who was hired in early December. They have a minus-7 goal differential under Hayden Mullins, who has been the coach for less than a week.

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El Pibe's avatar

Looks like Foofi (sp?) is gonna be wearing Jack Grealish calf prosthetics on the next podcast to celebrate

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George McIntire's avatar

Happy to see Watford go down. What kind of club has a moose on its badge but its nickname is the hornets. It's like pick an animal ffs.

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Patrick O's avatar

This man speaks the truth.

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Matt S's avatar

The worst part is it's not even a moose, apparently it's supposed to be a stag - the heraldic animal of the county Watford is in, Hertfordshire.

It's definitely a Moose though.

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Mike's avatar

This always bothers me

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

I just can't get over the Watford-Arsenal result.

Shots: 19 W, 13 A

Big Chances: 7, 2

xG: 3.75, 2.3

Woof. That's how you wanna play it in a must-win game, too.

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Dan's avatar

Update from games that don’t matter, Origi having a classic Origi games. Has been awful all game and then scores a banger out of nowhere.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Hello! Predictions:

-United 1, Leicester 1

-Wolves 2, Chelsea 1

-West Ham 3, Aston Villa 1

-Arsenal 0, Watford 0

I don't feel confident in any of this! The most likely outcomes are wins for United and Chelsea and losses for Villa and Watford. But why make a prediction if you're not willing to be wildly wrong? (I would not place wagers on any of this.) Something about Chelsea's midfield v the Wolves counter-attack really scares me, though.

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asim1999's avatar

Jimenez is definitely going to score an 85th minute goal in an open net off a square ball from Traore.

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Sam's avatar

if graelish is born in US he peaks as 2nd team all patriot league RB

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Marc F's avatar

jack grealish, i rate him

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Cousin_Drew's avatar

Newcastle takes the lead lol

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Patrick S's avatar

I would pay big money to have a live mic on Brendan Rodgers today

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Steven B's avatar

Its days like this with multiple good games at the same time that I wish there were something akin to NFL Redzone for the PL

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Joe Hirsch's avatar

I've got the TV plus two laptops running :)

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Wes Morgan being in a position to completely whiff a wide-open, point-blank volley from eight yards out sums up Leicester's current situation pretty nicely.

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Swan's avatar

Whiff of the season. Teammates laughing on the bench. Ouch.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Watford are down 3-0. Poor Hayden Mullins. What a mess.

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Max Willis's avatar

Seems like firing Nigel Pearson was a good idea...conceded 7 (so far) in the 2 games since he he left

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

We're about 30 minutes in, and United and Chelsea have each taken one shot apiece.

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Sam's avatar

i was def better off w/ bad internet

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

If both games end scoreless, then the Premier League should only get two Champions League teams next year and we should all get vouchers of a commensurate value to the two hours of our lives that were lost.

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Sam's avatar

in this world perhaps mybook.ag will refund my bitcoin as well

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Watford already down 1-0 ...

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Patrick O's avatar

Alright, that Giroud goal was at least legit

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Patrick S's avatar

Does Iheanacho still have a career solely because he was on City at one point? Is he the Bojan of City?

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

He has five goals and three assists in about 900 minutes this year. That's pretty good!

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Christopher Harwick's avatar

also, only 23!!

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Sam's avatar

solanke up next

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Joel W's avatar

Lampard benching Kepa is the right move, and it seems permanent. Changing goalkeeper on the final day with Champions League on the line is a statement.

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Patrick O's avatar

I was about to mention the Kepa benching. I believe it's the correct move, too, and even if Caballero has a rough outing, I think any alarmist that wants to burn Lampard at the stake would be mad. Kepa hasn't shown to be able to step up when the moment calls this season, so why would he against Wolves?

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Max Willis's avatar

When he just stood there like a statue as that cross came across the 6 yard box towards end of Liverpool game when Van Dijk missed that sitter as his teammates are screaming at him to come get it, that was when you knew he was a mental basket case and completely agree with benching

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Marc F's avatar

adama traore is so jacked... its so beautiful

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Cousin_Drew's avatar

Spurs finishing sixth this year is WILD

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Swan's avatar

Hate to see Watford go down, but would love to see Villa save themselves.

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Sam's avatar

FEAR THE (LUXURY TAX PAYING) DEER!

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Phillip Meng's avatar

Time for Liverpool to start raiding for Sarr

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Swan's avatar

Meanwhile Man City put up another 5 spot

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Patrick S's avatar

You think that Brendan Rodgers still has that giant painting of himself? You think he’s going to apologize to it tonight? “I’m sorry Brendan. I can do better Brendan, I swear it.”

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Sam's avatar

this WH AV match is brutal

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Bub bub's avatar

Announce havertz

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Jack Dawson's avatar

I will be hearing no mason mount slander at this time

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Joel W's avatar

GORGEOUS free kick from Mount

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Joel W's avatar

Chelsea have had so many dumb free kicks given and scored against this year. I don't care that Alonso flopped.

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Patrick O's avatar

That was a pretty weak free kick call on Wolves. Not even community theater level acting by Marcos Alonso, either.

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Patrick S's avatar

What does everyone’s setup look like? I’m going TV/Laptop/Laptop and its about as stressful as driving in a pretty bad thunderstorm

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Hate the two-TV set up -- if you're watching two, are you ... even watching one? -- but I've got United-LC on the TV and Chelsea-Wolves on a second screen. Monitoring the relegation battle on my computer, while also chatting with you goofballs.

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Sam's avatar

my wife is watching real housewives of ny on main tv rn and ill accept my 30 min suspension from chat as punishment

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Cousin_Drew's avatar

RN have three tabs open with livestreams and my laptop is straight up dying

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Jack Dawson's avatar

I’ve got Chelsea on the big screen and two laptops with United/LC and Bournemouth/Everton

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Dan's avatar

I’m just TV/laptop/Twitter and this chat on the phone. Can’t handle the second laptop

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Patrick O's avatar

Bouncing between Spurs/CP on the computer and Chelsea/Wolves on the TV (but paying attention to the TV more)

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Mark Thompson's avatar

One screen. Might flick between some games depending which seems interesting and if the current one is a bit dull

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Sam's avatar

big mke bucks fan so need an AV win so wes edens doesn't try to skip paying the luxury tax again

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

lmao love this

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Sam's avatar

1) pay luxury tax when you have nba mvp 2) take a loss on AV after relegation 3) invest in daughters instagram modeling career...you can only pick 2/3 when your a multi billionaire!

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Patrick O's avatar

What. Was. That???

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Marc F's avatar

Johnny Evans MOTM, red card for a proper Red

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Patrick O's avatar

1-1 draw for Spurs. Against 14th place Crystal Palace. To back into Europa. Feels about right.

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Patrick O's avatar

Oh dip! Hold on to your butts—West Ham isn't done yet!

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Patrick O's avatar

Grealish hadn't scored in 16 matches, but he scored when it mattered, I guess.

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Patrick O's avatar

Disappointing when Bournemouth are leading 3-1, too.

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Blake's avatar

Wolves have been...not good. It's almost like playing a season that lasts over a year with basically zero rotation isn't ideal?

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

He finally rotated today, though!

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Blake's avatar

Solid point. So maybe the actual lesson is NEVER ROTATE EVER NOT EVEN ONCE

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Patrick O's avatar

Skipp on for Sissoko. This is... something else.

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