236 Comments

FT Stat Update:

-Shots (on target): City 18 (6), Chelsea 9 (2)

-xG: City 2.74, Chelsea 0.77

-Final-third passes: City 89, Chelsea 132

-Penalty-area passes: City 14, Chelsea 10

City: really f'in good, still. Pep's tinkering is annoying and misguided a lot of the time, but when it works, it's beautiful. Also, Phil Foden is A LOT better than Ferran Torres. Brilliant performance -- probably the best performance of the season by any Premier League team. Certainly didn't hurt that they got an extended rest, either.

Chelsea: good enough players -- "great" enough, even -- to win most games. But there's just so much slack in how they play -- no real coherent pressing, a very "roll the ball out there, lads" approach in possession -- that a well-aimed opposing gameplan executed by world-class players can absolutely dismantle them. We'll see what happens with Lampard -- they can still finish top-four with him, imo -- but it's pretty clear that he's not the guy to take them to a title challenge.

Metaphorical Spanish Ham Recipient: Kevin De Bruyne. Despite a different role today -- not quite a possession focal point -- KDB led all players in shots (five) and added three chances created. He got an assist and also nabbed his first open-play goal of the season. He gets out highest-grade ham on offer.

Finally, a fun game! But also a dead-rubber second half. But given the past 100 (?) chats we've done, we'll take it. I had a blast today, hope you guys did, too. Talk soon!

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"Slack" is a good word for Chelsea. They're a team with talent, but no clear purpose or plan for how to use it.

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Timo Werner has 4.3 expected goals since his last actual goal.

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"By the way, I would have voted for Obama for a third term if I could." vibe there from Lampard

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Imagine what an absolute football lunatic Bielsa must be if he set up an elaborate spy system to discover what kind of tactics big frank was cooking up

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findings came back "inconclusive"

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Chelsea have two shots in the second half. Given that they were down 3-0 at HT, it's a pretty interesting approach.

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If Lampard keeps his job, I'd love to see his next big chess move as this: reinstall Kepa as the starter.

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And if Lampard loses his job: reinstall Kepa as manager!

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Emergency transfer to shore up the defense with Chelsea legend David Luiz

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This is the kind of game that 1) City weren't supposed to produce any more, and 2) Chelsea were supposed to have evolved past.

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What a goal. Amazing patience from KDB on the pass, great little flick by Young Phil. Chelsea have NO CLUE what to do with this City system.

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Chelsea got annihilated by Liverpool at home, and now they're getting annihilated by City at home. Not much progress there, huh?

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And this is essentially Chelsea’s preferred 11 for the first time this season too. Not a great debut.

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Don't trust an American keeper who is not bald/balding

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We need a Chelsea shot on target to determine whether or not the American is good

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This match is really showing who comes out on top in the battle of no tactics vs too much tactics

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Lampard, while eating the absolute most dry part of an over cooked Turkey breast, came up with the genius gameplay of “I think we need to work harder” for this game

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Who is today's Ham Daddy?

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Silky Ilkay

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the ham-coloured man, KdB

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Zack Steffen

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There's still 25 minutes left. Woof.

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Making the switch to the Jets

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what a dark sentence

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Gotta catch Adam Gase's last game

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knowing Belichick he's gonna tank the game and credit Gase's master coaching afterward just so the Jets keep him around

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Fields? Lawrence? Or Wilson? (Don't you dare say the "D" word.)

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I think I'm in on Wilson, but I hardly watch college football so I'm deeply being swayed by recency bias.

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It’s gotta be Trey lance

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get out

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Have any of you all ever used Discord? If so, might it be a better way to do these chats?

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Discord chats are great, but they can be super frenetic during games. Live chats also spoil any interesting things that happen throughout the match, because inevitably there are some people seconds/minutes ahead

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I really like the reply nature of these chats, that I don't really get with Discord.

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Isn’t there a threading function like Slack?

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You might be right, definitely not an expert. I mostly use it for a gaming group chat, and it functions basically like a group text for us. Definitely a better app than this, like you said.

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Strong downvote on Discord, the threading is really poor and everything just devolves into reaction gifs

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Is there ... anything Discord would be useful for, then?

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Looking for Gamers

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Tiering subscription levels is the big one

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Yes to both?

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Yeah yes to both. No Discord expert tho so someone else might know better. In general chat is more intuitive with an actual chat app

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The other respondents are smarter so ignore me Ryan

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i will never ignore the Soccer Don

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Why not slack? Discord is fine but kinda all over the place with notifications.

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Love hearing the NBC commentators blame Chelea's 3-0 deficit on ... Timo Werner? What?

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*blinking guy gif*

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De Bruyne's finishing slump continues, too: 4.5 non-penalty xG before today, 0 non-penalty goals.

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This didn’t age well ;)

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Did Hudson-Odoi just save the job of the manager who won’t play him?

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So much for the mediocre non-entertaining match jinx

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Was worried you would do one of these for this game! Nil nil here we come

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I aim to displease.

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At least that would mean a clean sheet for steffen right?

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If Chelsea stop allowing City to just completely run straight up the middle of the pitch unimpeded now that Kante is off, we may have to start a dialogue

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Kante with hair is like Jadakiss with hair

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*Jadakiss laugh*

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The reverse Samson

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DeBruyne with some strong Ham not xHam play this game

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Will Lamps make it to the end of the season

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Will Lamps make it to the end of the game?

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Tuchel Time.

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Anyone who wasn't named "Frank Lampard" would've been fired already or would be fired after this match.

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Is Frank Lampard just Brexit Adam Gase?

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Does that make Jody Morris Greg Williams?

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i already miss him :(

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Feel like CHO should get more starts

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You're saying that if Bayern Munich tries to buy one of your players he's probably good enough to start for your team?

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Ah yes, the classic Eric Choupo-Moting rule

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Or should I say....maxim.

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City with big "Rumors of My Demise Have Been Greatly Exaggerated" energy

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This feels to me like playing a hugely mismatched chess game. The weak player does something that seems like a good idea for a moment, then the stronger opponent just punishes their mistake immediately, before they’ve even figured out it was a mistake.

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I've never related to Frank Lampard more than right now.

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Example: Kovacic pressing the CBs, then City just play two passes around him and into the free man, in the space where poor Mateo should’ve been

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Who will Lampard scapegoat at halftime?

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the media, for overly criticizing english managers

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Immigrant caravans?

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Marcos Alonso, watching from the bus

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If I was Timo Werner I would pack my kit up and head straight out of Stanford Bridge

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imagine going from Nagelsmann to big frank

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HT Stat Update:

-Shots (on target): City 11 (4). Chelsea 4 (1)

-xG, per Stats Perform: City 2.34, Chelsea 0.29 OMFGGGGGGGGGGG

-Final-third passes: City 43, Chelsea 54 (!)

-Penalty-area passes: City 8, Chelsea 5

One of the most dominant halves of play you'll ever see in the Premier League. Reminder: Chelsea are in the Champions League, not a relegation battle.

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the chat curse has mutated into disproportionately affecting one team instead of both--elite curse

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One shot on target from your “dream” attacking three against a backup goalie who doesn’t understand the back pass rule is not what you want

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Are those passing numbers for successful or attempted passes?

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successful

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Wow, did it feel like Chelsea were getting into the final third that often?!

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The opening 5-10 was played mostly in that third, but after that it sure didn’t. Also seemed like there were a fair few breaks that fizzled out in failed layoffs/passes going out for goal kicks

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Jose Mourinho once said you win the Champions League with 11 Azpilicuetas. Is the problem with Lampard that he took that comment way too seriously and can only think how to play soccer with 11 Mason Mounts?

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A pass web for that squad would just look like 11 individual dots

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But they would be the “phenomenal in training” and “give so much without the ball you don’t see”

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Gundogan is the best in the world at 360/Cruyff/Maradona turns that lead to a goal.

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You're forgetting future Ballon D'Or winner Big Rom

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We need to talk about Amiri’s goal

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I think he's peps favorite player in the squad

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More embarrassing moment so far: Steffen picking up a pass from his own teammate? Or Kante making Kevin De Bruyne look like Derrick Henry?

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Steffen hands down. De Bruyne’s not massive, but compared to Kante he a big lad

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Gotta say there is something thrilling about seeing KDB lead a line with Gunny running shit behind him

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I'm loving this City system. Don't know how it works against a team with a "midfield" or a "coach", but the angles and passes its producing are so unique.

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CFs are clearly over. The era of "play everyone as an 8" has begun

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It works a lot better when the other team has no defensive midfield

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This game seems like confirmation that the time when Kante could just be the entire midfield defensive plan is over

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0-10-0 but make it positional play

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Chelsea are only 3 points ahead of Arsenal...

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Someone in London made a poorly-worded wish at the beginning of the season

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That just reminds me of WW84 and now I’m sad

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If Frank got sacked by Chelsea tomorrow, where would he end up? Who would look at his body of work and reasonably conclude, this is the guy we want?

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It would be very West Ham to sack Moyes, who is arguably doing a better job than Lampard, despite the resource gap, and hire Lampard

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Yeah, this feels right. He'll end up at WHU at some point. No clue where he goes next, though. Doesn't, uh, seem like the type to try something outside the UK.

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Totally agree, and I also think he probably thinks he’s too good for the championship now, which just leaves the worst run newly promoted club for him. Maybe Fulham when Scott Parker is gone?

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Handsome but useless British managers are the new market inefficiency

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The Man U old boys hire him at Salford just so they can sack him at half time of the first match

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Rooney, Terry, and Lampard fight to the death for the Derby job

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Lampard is a Kidz Bop manager

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I have been wondering for some time now that is Frank Lampard just Zidane without the gravitas, Tom Ford suit, and a world-beating squad (with a generational superstar) at his disposal?

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He’s got Zidane 98 hair

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Has everyone had the chance to see Sancho violently ripping a defender's soul from his body?

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Bike for Verona a minute ago was class as well

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An American player showing ignorance of the rules by using his hands for no reason is probably confirming some serious priors for the anti-American bias crowd

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At least he didn't immediately run forward as soon as he picked it up. It's hard to unlearn these things. Baby steps.

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It seems like the punchline of some joke a French dude would have made about American soccer in the early 90's

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Followed almost immediately by a “quarterback” metaphor from the American broadcast announcer. Smh

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If this one develops into a chess match, switch over to Bayern Munich vs. bottom feeder Mainz., if only to see a rested Alphonso Davies try to help Robert Lewandowski add to his ridiculous goals total. Sorry, I just can't help it: I'm a Vancouver guy who has watched Davies since he played with the MLS Whitecaps.

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Long shot but is there any way you know of to buy a Davies Whitecaps jersey other than ordering one with a custom name? I was poking around online in the summer and couldn't find any

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Try VanCity Sports.

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Thanks!

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When I started this project, I could only dream that one day it would facilitate this very specific brand of commerce.

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the Quaresma Guimaraes jersey was sold out everywhere, this was the next best option

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What formation should Chelsea be playing? The general consensus is that Werner needs a strike partner, so 4-4-2? Or something else?

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Would like to see a 4-3-1-2 (good enough full backs to make it work) or an Atalanta style 3-4-1-2 but then you don’t get to play any of your amazing wingers, so 4-4-2 is what you’re left with, but then you have no space for Havertz or Mount. Weird squad building imho. Not sure Chelsea knew what Werner or Havertz were when they bought them

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Having so many good players that you can’t fit them all together is obviously a nice problem to have, it’s just the person whose job that is isn’t very good at it

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It also still SHOULD work better from a standard 4-3-3 perspective than it does. They don't have a coherent press and their possession play is "hope Ziyech does something". I think the tactics/approach are more of an issue than the formation.

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Absolutely. It looks even worse when you consider they can basically just copy Liverpool’s template

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Firmino is basically the perfect hybrid of all of the best parts of Havertz and Mount's games so I feel like you would still be lacking something if you just tried to crib their style

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I agree, but I don’t think that’s too big a change a subtle tweak can’t correct. The main parts of Liverpool’s game translate quite well to Chelsea’s squad I think.

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Bayern-Mainz is good rn

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Wow. Mainz is up 2-0 against Bayern

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Getting outshot, too! City ... might be the best team in the world again.

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Depending on the time left in that game it would either end 2-2 or 3-2 in Bayern's favour

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45 minutes so definitely fair

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Wild that PSG gave Pochettino half the time Chelsea gave Lampard.

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I'm trying to figure out what Qatar/PSG/World Cup connection there is to explain Poch's contract. Haven't gotten there yet, but there's gotta be something.

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Hope you can figure it out, as I have absolutely no idea why. Maybe it came from his side, then he’s available when Lampard, Solskjaer and Zidane’s contracts all expire, but it’s pretty optimistic to expect them all to last that long, and I’m not sure those jobs are more appealing than the PSG one

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Shades of Man Utd in Istanbul

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Gundogan at times looks like an adult playing with children

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Feels like lamps was really banking on facing city from a couple weeks ago

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The pregame commentary said Lampard told the team they need to “work harder.” I think he was just banking on vibes

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BTE: Big Tory Energy

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Ryan if Liverpool could have either on a free would you take Havertz or Nicolas Pepe

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lolol havertz no doubt

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Ryan, would you rather have Thiago or Thiago Silva at Liverpool this season?

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I can't tell if this is a joke? But: Thiago Siva because he actually plays in games.

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Isnt Thiago supposed to be coming back soon?

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He played in the last game, but we're halfway through the season already lol.

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Blast there goes my Dias CS in FPL

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CHO looks pretty good out there, and obviously Chelsea fans are clamouring for him to start every match. But whose place does he actually take in this situation? Pulisic? Werner? Ziyech? I don't think Chelsea's problem is not having enough good attackers on the pitch.

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Ziyech got that touch of Ozil cultured left foot but when he’s not on he’s really not on

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He's also always on the ball, whether or not he's "on", so his off days have a bigger negative effect.

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