143 Comments
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Games like this are why Mourinhoball could still win a title.

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I realize I haven't commented in anything that's happened in the game since, I don't know, halftime. But, basically: United can only really create chances on the break, but City are playing two D-mids and two conservative fullbakcs, which is preventing United from breaking. Meanwhile, United defend deep reasonably well, and to break them down, you need as many bodies forward as possible to stretch them out, but since City are worried about the counter, they only have four players contributing to the attack. The result: this.

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John Stones starting over Aymeric Laporte in the Manchester Derby. Life comes at you fast!

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The fact that there are only two minutes of ET tells you everything you need to know.

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Definitely did not have "Manchester City get the first great chance of the match on a counter-attack" on my bingo card.

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I'm starting to think that Aaron Wan-Bissaka isn't very good. His 1v1 defending is probably a little overrated -- see: Sterling putting him into the ground -- and United get killed by diagonal balls onto his zone of the field. Then, he doesn't offer much going forward. Might be better off in a different position, imo.

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Graeme Le Saux just said "you can't take man-marking literally" and then basically said that you have to pick up the man when he's in your area but let him go when he's not. That is ... the opposite of man-marking.

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FT Stat Update:

Shots (on target): United 11 (2), City 9 (2)

xG: United 0.6, City 1.33

Attacking-third passes: United 41, City 104

Penalty-area passes: United 5, City 10

So, uh, yeahhhhhhhh. City could've and should've won -- not sure what all the talk re: United being pleased with the performance is about -- but doesn't change the fact that we all just spend two hours of our lives beaming that shit into our brains. I'm not sure that Pep's gameplan was actually all the bad, either; it just looked like shit and theres gotta be a way to keep that kind of control while also adding in some width. An inverted fullback and winger on the same side is just ugly as hell. I'd really like to know what Pep ideally sees the attack looking like in his head. United -- I mean, sure? They played a game of soccer, and they didn't concede a goal. Their list of achievements ends there.

Metaphorical Cubed Ham Recipient: Harry Maguire. A couple nice blocks from Ol Slabhead, and he's a big reason why United kind of shut City down. It wasn't a performance worthy of Spanish ham, Christmas ham, or frankly most other kinds of ham. So, he's going home with a vaccum-sealed package of pre-cooked cubed ham. Congrats, Harry.

Sorry that was so bad. But thanks for joining in. As I've been saying a lot recently: you guys made that way more fun that it had any right to be. Enjoy your weekends, all.

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Leaning toward "no metaphorical ham will be awarded today".

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Completely agree with this: https://twitter.com/reverse_ball/status/1337824033526562816

That first-half felt exactly like what every Liverpol/Chelsea/United/Arsenal game felt like from 2005 to 2010. Cagey, fullbacks not involved high up the field, and the only chances come from set pieces or pretty fast, vertical combinations.

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Dec 12, 2020Liked by Ryan O'Hanlon

well at least we were miserably bored together

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Dec 12, 2020Liked by Ryan O'Hanlon

very bills-browns thursday night football circa 2012 energy here

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Two holding midfielders minimum, one half of an attacking fullback maximum. This is what soccer was like before 2016.

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Union Berlin are up, 1-0, on Bayern with 40 minutes to play. I would not blame you if you switched over to that match.

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HT Stat Update:

Shots (on target): United 7 (1), City 4 (1)

xG (per Stats Perform): United 0.42, City 0.85

Attacking-third passes: United 21, City 30

Penalty-area passes: United 3, City 6

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Rough 10 days for Fred.

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Dec 12, 2020Liked by Ryan O'Hanlon

What changes do we think Pep makes out of half? (Assuming that he didn't just wrestle with the epistemological conundrums of "Man Marking" the entire time)

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My Unscientific Unprovable Theory: Vincent Kompany was the best captain in soccer history

How else to explain this Man City-lite we've been seeing the last 2 years?!

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Dec 12, 2020Liked by Ryan O'Hanlon

thank you for not placing the chat curse on the everton-chelsea match

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Dec 12, 2020Liked by Ryan O'Hanlon

just here for jamie carragher troll picture now

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This game makes me miss Simeone's Atletico Madrid

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Despite what the announcers, City are not, in fact, man-marking Bruno Fernandes.

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United still kind of feel more like a FIFA team than a real squad.

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Without fans do we think the players know how truly terrible of a spectacle this is

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Not a good week for corner flags.

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Anyone see Reyna’s goal earlier? Class

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Like how graham just proposed that Wan-Bissaka learn how to cross from Fernandes. “Talk to a teammate who is better than you.” Innovative

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Mahrez is Algerian Robben

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If anyone feels a need for entertainment after that, try to hunt down a clip of Pavard giving the world's least necessary bicycle kick a go at the end of Bayern v. Union

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What happened to Alex Telles? Has he still not recovered from COVID?

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Kyle walker strikes again

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Pogba seems up for it today. He’s winning 50/50s in midfield AND doing the other sexy stuff too.

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Hey Ryan what about a Madird Derby chat? Can't be more boring than this, right?

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I just heard the commentator mention how the United away record is much better than home record. Does it even matter in this post apocalyptic football world? What's the difference between in a home and an away game? The difference in font size on those giant cards?

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Seems like Dilva left quite a creative void in City's attack. Foden feels like the ideal replacement, but he's in Pep's doghouse.

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KDB crushing the ball directly into the girthy middle of the United wall on that free kick is the only recap this game needs

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anyone else notice klopp saying that chelsea should be viewed as title favorites? ember beef is still beef.

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Ian Darke on Twitter suggesting that fatigue is the "only explanation" for why the Manchester Derby is so blegh.

LOL

https://twitter.com/IanDarke/status/1337836222123810816

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Is Bruno Fernandes as good as the announcers say he is?

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Can you guess who equalized for Bayern?

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I feel dumber for having watched this

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Remember when the premier league ball was juiced

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I’m about to go run some errands. Watch there be goals now.

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Feels like De Bruyne is super active in midfield winning the ball back. Is that normal for him and I just haven't watched closely enough?

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This is a bit boring

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was really looking forward to the VAR discussion...too bad

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ooooooh coming back?

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roy keane be nice!!...

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I'm just a United 1-0 win away from tweeting at how good Solskjaer is at coming up with reactive tactical plans for big games

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it's kinda amazing how Fred just starts now and it's normal. Fred starting used to mean that the Rapture was imminent or at the very least the rest of the midfield were involved in an accident. Now OGS keeps him on even if the referee is minutes away from sending him off because Fred.

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