252 Comments
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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Me: midfielders aren't that valuable compared to other positions

Also me: [has a full back tattoo of Thiago]

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Don't know about you guys but I'm now using these chats as a distraction from the awful soccer I'm supposed to be watching ...

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Mike's avatar

I get so excited to see "1 new reply"

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andrew's avatar

Feel like the euros are going to be apocalyptically bad.

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Miguel's avatar

And with the new covid UK variant (you're welcome) this season may not end until this time next year.

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Miguel's avatar

The last few weeks have not been good. Villa are fun. Leeds...

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Watching Nat Phillips try a 30-yard pass while Thiago is on the field is like watching, I don't know, a tree try to read the bible?

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McKinley's avatar

with paul the apostle sitting right there!!!

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

lol

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Chris's avatar

cat_playing_piano.gif

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Joaquin's avatar

Like watching any non Steph Curry Warrior shoot a 3 this season

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Nat Philipps is the Lieutenant Governor of Pennsylvania, fyi

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Doug Keith's avatar

One day John Fetterman will have enough name recognition.... one day

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Great to see Nat and Thiago out there together.

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Thomas Van Grinsven's avatar

I wonder if Thiago dreamed about this day. Play with Nat, trade jerseys with Longstaff

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Sam's avatar

and come on for milner nonetheless

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

FT Stat Update:

-Shots (on target): Newcastle 8 (2), Liverpool 11 (4)

-xG: Newcastle 0.57, Liverpool 1.4

-Final-third passes: Newcastle 38, Liverpool 115

-Penalty-area passes: Newcastle 7, Liverpool 18

Crap first half, but Liverpool should've won. This and the WBA game were two games that Liverpool won last year -- with the exact kind of underlying performance. I guess I'd be a little concerned that they couldn't generate more shots today or more chances in either of the past two games, but everyone looks tired and the past two matches are two matches that typically produce wins. Weird season -- this is what title races were like 12 years ago: top teams drop points almost every week. Four dropped points in two games two seasons ago would've seemed like an absolute disaster. This year, it means Liverpool are probably still title favorites. Newcastle, on the other hand, defended well in the first half and showed some spice on the counter. Second half? More of a hang-on-for-dear-life kinda thing.

Metaphorical Hawaiian Ham Recipient: Karl Darlow. He's saved about 4.5 goals over average over the last two seasons, and the good form continued today. LFC's finishing was off, but the real KD was on his game tonight.

That ends our three-day run of chats ... and solidifies my ability to turn any matchup into the worst game you've ever seen. Thanks for all the fun and thoughtful commentary. I might've switched to table tennis had I watched this garbage alone. We'll do another one soon. Happy New Year to all. Shane Long is Howard Dean!

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Joaquin's avatar

My xG guess of 1.4-.8 was so close!

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Klopp made three subs before injury time. Wow.

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Ian's avatar

What I'm asking is: did he?

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Miguel's avatar

Need a pundit to say Liverpool only won the title due to Covid to spice this up a little.

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Joaquin's avatar

Thiago time!?!

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Joaquin's avatar

Steve Bruce is Mike Pence

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Patrick S's avatar

Just crushed a post-Christmas Ted Lasso binge and I really resonated with the show's message that there are only like six managers who have any sort of tactical influence on their team, and the rest of management just comes down to vibes. I think you put Lasso on Chelsea and they are pretty much in the same spot they are today

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

You don't think they'd be better?

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Patrick S's avatar

I'd have paid an actual Apple TV+ subscription to watch him deal with the Kepa situation

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Sam's avatar

"kick it harder, timo!"

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McKinley's avatar

USNMT abroad yedlin earns a foul in the attacking half send tweet

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Calvin's avatar

Given our player pool, I would love to seem him as a poor man's Kyle Walker as RCB in a back 3

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McKinley's avatar

american soccer players just stopped using a stopper sweeper combo in defense like 2 years ago idk if theyre ready for the 3 at the back

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Calvin's avatar

Brooks is German though, so it could work?

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McKinley's avatar

HEAVY on the earned

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

A sign that Newcastle's plan is working: 28 percent of Liverpool's final-third passes were crosses in the first half. Their season-long average is just 13 percent.

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Ian's avatar

Yes, need to drive into the middle of the park with some speed. Milner for Ox at 60 minutes and then Jones for Thiago at 70 minutes. Jones needs someone to play 1-2s with and Firmino is drawing too much CB attention.

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Nate's avatar

and yet the middle of the park appears pretty open...

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Craig Henderson's avatar

Mathematics, man...

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

HT Stat Update:

-Shots (on target): Newcastle 6 (1), Liverpool 4 (3)

-xG, per Stats Perform: Newcastle 0.49, Liverpool 0.50

-Final-third passes: Newcastle 26, Liverpool 48

-Penalty-area passes: Newcastle 6, Liverpool 10

Moral of the first half: Newcastle are outshooting Liverpool.

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Sam's avatar

iconic outfit matched to fake xmas tree in that photo as well

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Craig Henderson's avatar

The journalist who dropped “suckling pig” into that headline tho...

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Miguel's avatar

Food a liitle different?... They don't have chips and curry sauce in Spain?

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Craig Henderson's avatar

Spices too. Completely innovative.

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Melvin's avatar

Just two dudes who absolutely love gifting pig parts

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Mike's avatar

Love to see Iberians looking out for each other

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Thomas Van Grinsven's avatar

My infant son loves screens and always watches tv when it’s on. He turned away from this game 15 mins ago

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Already a wiser man than his father and his friends.

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Austin Cracraft's avatar

ass cheek out alert

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Doug Keith's avatar

come for the data-informed, thoughtful discussions. stay for the politicians-as-soccer-personalities and alerts about exposed ass cheeks.

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Patrick S's avatar

The hard cut straight to ass cheek with no context was really well done

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

i missed the bare butt. damn.

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McKinley's avatar

premiership joe flacco aka jordan henderson watching thiago pass the ball with his jaw on the floor like the first time we saw megan fox in transformers

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John's avatar

This made me laugh for a solid 30 seconds

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Sam's avatar

need thiago to come on and reinvigorate chat

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Should we do strikers-as-politicians today?

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

anthony weiner as giroud

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McKinley's avatar

benzema as eric greitens ?

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Miguel's avatar

Benzema is Eliot Spitzer

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Ian's avatar

Rob Ford is Maradona. Jimmy Carter is Diego.

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McKinley's avatar

this is the one

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Thomas Van Grinsven's avatar

Salah as Gov Schwarzenegger

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

lmao

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Joaquin's avatar

Haaland in 2004 Obama

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Sam's avatar

is mitch mcconnell more saurez or diego costa?

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

given that he's still going strong, i say suarez

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Filip's avatar

More like Grinch...

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Craig Henderson's avatar

Angela Merkel = Lewandowski

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Miguel's avatar

Jamie Vardy = Maggie Thatcher

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Chris's avatar

Clint Dempsey as LBJ?

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McKinley's avatar

zlatan as rasputin

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Thomas Van Grinsven's avatar

Aguero as Ted Kennedy

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Morata as De Blasio

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Thomas Van Grinsven's avatar

DiCanio as Strom Thurmond

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Patrick S's avatar

You can see Morata doing this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olbwkLUrsLY

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Miguel's avatar

Underrated comment

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Sam's avatar

does match quality matter when the only viewing alternative is the duke's mayo bowl?

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

TWANG.

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Ian's avatar

Why no Rebecca Lowe? Thing 1 and Thing 2 male presenters just highlight how much better she is.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Latest from the Premier League, per Rob Harris: "The Premier League has not discussed pausing the season and has no plans to do so. The League continues to have confidence in its COVID-19 protocols to enable fixtures to be played as scheduled, and these protocols continue to have the full backing of Government."

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Looks like they learned nothing from the first time this happened!

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Calvin's avatar

Learning and profits don't mesh, who knew?

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Craig Henderson's avatar

The virus may have some thoughts about this.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Nat Philips showing us why he's, uh, Nat Phillips there.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

In theory, I like the idea of using Nat Phillips only against battering-ram teams like Burnley and West Brom. One version of Newcastle fits that description; not the one with Callum Wilson, though.

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Sam's avatar

how is nat phillips not on newcastle

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

He was the best West Ham center back in the West Ham–Liverpool match.

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Garett Dmytrowich's avatar

Do we like Fabinho sticking a boot in there or just let Allison deal with it? Seems more risky to stick the foot in there and deflect it, but I'm not a soccer player.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

I think all players are trained to try to block the shot if they can. My guess is that's the percentage play, too. Even if it's deflected, the keeper can still save it.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

My dad thinks that soccer broadcasts need a new camera angle. He ... wants the camera to be closer to the players but also not zoomed in so that you see less of the field (?). Feasibility of that specific idea aside, what say you all?

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Garett Dmytrowich's avatar

Something like the view at Fulham? Not sure if it was always like that or a result of the construction on the stands.

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Daniel Gray's avatar

I was just looking into this when LFC played Fulham a few weeks ago. Anything within 10 yards of the half line on the near side is annoying

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andrew's avatar

That idea sucks, but I'd pay (some) money for an All22 style angle that you could go back and watch later.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

damn, no respect for my dad huh?

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Sam's avatar

they could probably suspend something from a wire like they do in NFL to manage a cam like this but also maybe your dad just needs to visit the optometrist (no shots we're all a shell of our former selves)...does NBC pick up this feed from Sky or whoever is producing in UK? or is this NBC specific production?

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

I think he really just wants a bigger TV.

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Daniel Gray's avatar

Sounds like he's laying the groundwork for a trip to Anfield. I see you, Mr. O. I'm in.

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Mike's avatar

I'm not sure about a different angle, but there are some stadiums that you really can't see much when the ball comes to the near side. Standardize stadium size!

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andrew's avatar

I had the (very dumb) idea the other day of allowing stadiums to go with different goal sizes within a sanctioned range. Like how baseball stadiums have different distances to the wall. Would make for some atrocious soccer, but I'd be in favor of it for the Carabao cup or something.

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Mike's avatar

This is basically like MLB testing random stuff out in indy ball. Was it Mourinho who realized a goal was too big at a random away Europa qualifier?

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andrew's avatar

lol yes

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Ian's avatar

Salah with a forgettable game. Is Jota's injury more difficult to overcome than van Dijk's?

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John's avatar

That casual cross field diagonal from Thiago literally made me call out with pleasure

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duransound's avatar

I shed a single Xabi Alonso tear on that pass

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McKinley's avatar

"when the lamb is lost in the mountains, they cry. sometime come the mother, sometime come thiago"

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Garett Dmytrowich's avatar

Remember when Liverpool couldn't miss against Palace? Good times.

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Doug Keith's avatar

I wish Spurs played this Liverpool team and not "perfect header at the death by Firminho" Liverpool

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Doug Keith's avatar

YES I KNOW WE'RE ALL JUST BITTER

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Miguel's avatar

Spurs have been broken since!

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Doug Keith's avatar

Mourinho put a curse on the games you chose for discussion threads as soon as you initiated the honorary jamon iberico. All games we watch together are now Mourinho-ey.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

We have to do Leeds-Tottenham next. To break the spell.

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Miguel's avatar

If that game is 0-0 they should just bring the international break forward

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McKinley's avatar

Mane's first touch is always incredible. always able to use it to turn or move the ball forward. never static.

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James Milner's Peloton's avatar

Yedlin was 5 years too late. Promising American right backs are the new English midfielders these days.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

We'll always have that one half against Eden Hazard, though.

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Sam's avatar

a drunk newcastle supporter told me he voted for brexit while i was trying to watch LFC Sevilla at a pub in largo, portugal like 3 yrs ago...hated them ever since.

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Ian's avatar

Ryan: any ideas on how to monetize your position as the cooler for games?

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Miguel's avatar

Ryan H Macy

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Joaquin's avatar

City being 7 points back with two games in hand has the feeling of inevitability

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Sam's avatar

nothing a city sheffield ngitc group watch cant solve

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Joaquin's avatar

Is there anything Henderson likes more than giving instructions after making a sideways pass?

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McKinley's avatar

absolutely cleaning you out in practice and then telling you to "get on with it". played with a dozen guys like him

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Sam's avatar

shaqiri hair trainsplant looking primo

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

wait 'til he takes his short off

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

*shirt, dammit

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Ian's avatar

Calling it a Power Cube is so much nicer than chode.

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Doug Keith's avatar

really wondered where you were trying to take this comment...

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Calvin's avatar

Did he get a rec from Klopp?

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Thomas Van Grinsven's avatar

He went to Rooney and Lebron’s plug guy

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Sam's avatar

he got the full jude law

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duransound's avatar

Thiago is the type of player that could make a difference when teams park the bus against Liverpool. When LFC break through, its when the defense is re-positioning themselves from let-to-right making room for players to get in behind

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McKinley's avatar

do we overrate the in game parts of managing like team selection, tactics, subs etc and underrate the other 90% of coaching like training, rest, film etc?

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

I'd say team selection is properly rated, tactics are wildly overrated, subs are underrated, and all the other behind the scenes stuff -- motivation, what gets trained, how intense training is, etc. -- is underrated, too.

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McKinley's avatar

over coaching on the sidelines, a staple of the arteta and lampard regimes, is an underrated detriment to the uninitiated

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Sam's avatar

its wild that even w/ all the resources and a manager that is widely considered one of the few who actually makes a diff...LFC still doesnt aggressively sub

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Miguel's avatar

Subbing players is one of those things where a manager may feel that having to repeatedly explain why to certain players just isn't worth the hassle. That's a lot of sulking a week!

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Sam's avatar

(save the chat, jurgen!)

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Calvin's avatar

What's the earliest Klopp has made a non-injury sub this season?

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Patrick S's avatar

Does Thiago liven up this game? Does Zidane? How about Joan of Arc?

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Sam's avatar

my wife instructed me to pick up a new years brisket at half so excuse me while i put on my lace outfit that perfectly matches my holiday decorations and go acquire some meats

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Craig Henderson's avatar

Suckling pig, bro

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Casey's avatar

It seems that starting attacks with Nat Phillips is suboptimal...

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Joaquin's avatar

Did Mo have any idea he was onside?

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Thomas Van Grinsven's avatar

Karl Darrow is a good enough keeper to have a big team pick him up as a backup. That might be the nicest thing I can say about newcastle’s team

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Sidd's avatar

He’s impressed every time I’ve watched him

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Sam's avatar

what are there other examples of guys as mediocre phillips playing in starting 11s w/ as much talent as LFC...reminds me of mario chalmers on the big 3 heat

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Ryan Bertrand started and won a Champions League final ... as a winger. Gonna be tough to top that.

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McKinley's avatar

how many times a day does he start a sentence with "well against bayern we..."?

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andrew's avatar

In relative terms, it's pretty wild that Jeremy Matthieu started 23 league matches for Barcelona's 14/15 treble winning side.

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Newcastle’s OnlyFan from Fargo's avatar

Seams like it’s fairly common in basketball TBH

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John's avatar

This is spot on and also Mario chalmers slander. The reverse of this question would be “who are the worst players to have (positive) championship-deciding moments of immortality” a la chalmers, fisher, etc.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Divock Origi -- also tough to beat.

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John's avatar

Nailed it

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James Milner's Peloton's avatar

Zinchenko last year on City?

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Sam's avatar

zinchenko was a reasonable sized transfer at least

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Newcastle’s OnlyFan from Fargo's avatar

Was that... a shot? 🥲

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Depends how generous Opta's stringer is feeling today.

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Garett Dmytrowich's avatar

Thiago on the bench! I've only missed a few Liverpool games this season, but haven't seen him play yet.

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Thomas's avatar

It would probably have to have been from a relatively lesser league (not coincidentally like Scotland), but are there any good, recent parallels for Rangers' level of league dominance this year?

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

My mind initially went to the Eredivisie from two years ago, but it's still not close to Rangers: https://fbref.com/en/comps/23/2231/2018-2019-Dutch-Eredivisie-Stats

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Best GD in the Big Five since 2008 is Bayern Munich in 2012-13: plus-2.35 per game.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

OK I think I found our answer. Check out Torino here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1947%E2%80%9348_Serie_A

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Mike's avatar

What does it mean that Triestina were guests?

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James Milner's Peloton's avatar

Lucchese's coach was the OG Big Sam.

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Mike's avatar

PSG won Ligue 1 by 31 points in 2015-16

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Thomas's avatar

Should have been clearer that I was specifically thinking about goals for and against. Celtic will almost certainly be closer than 31 points in the table; however, PSG only scored a paltry 5.4 goals for each conceded - Rangers at 11.2 per goal conceded thus far.

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James Milner's Peloton's avatar

Red Star Belgrade (Serbia) aren't far off, with 51 G and 7 GA through 19 games so far. Bodo Glimt were also putting up comical attacking numbers when they still had Hauge - 103 G, 32 GA. But the most dominant team this year? Bayern Munich's women's team. 40G, 1 GA, and a perfect 12-0 record.

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Doug Keith's avatar

What team would be worst to win the league for neutrals? My ranking is:

- Man United

- Chelsea

- Spurs (my team, but this is my guess)

- Liverpool

- Man City

- Leicester

- Everton

- Villa

- Southampton

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Miguel's avatar

United to the of power of 10

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Miguel's avatar

As soon as I saw that Newcastle players man bun I knew they couldn't lose

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