216 Comments
author

If Neymar played baseball, he'd set the record for "most times a guy had a 99-mph fastball thrown directly at his throat".

Expand full comment
author

People talk about PSG's wealth of talent, but RBL have the best player in the world, Tyler Adams, sitting on the bench.

Expand full comment
author

These RBL counters would look a lot more dangerous with, say, I don't know, an insanely fast, world-class goalscorer.

Expand full comment
author

Twenty minutes in, it's, uh, 1.83 xg for PSG and 0.09 for RBL.

Expand full comment
author

More trivia than anything, but Kimpembe has completed 70 out of 70 passes in the first half.

Expand full comment
author

Sorry for the delay. That touch from Neymar on the goal briefly disassociated my spirit from my corporeal form. I'm back!

Expand full comment
author

That's a goal, folks. Nagelsmann's suit was a way-too-aggro heat-check. We should've expected this.

Expand full comment
author

HT Update:

xG: 2.39 PSG, 0.57 RBL

Shots (on target): 7 (3) PSG, 5 (1) RBL

Attacking-third passes: 48 PSG, 20 RBL

Penalty-area passes: 6 PSG, 4 RBL

Expand full comment
author

Neymar is a gift.

Expand full comment
author

Honest q for you guys: Do you feel a particular way about either a team owned by an energy drink or the sovereign wealth fund of Qatar? Depressed? Don't care? Refuse to watch (weird if you're here)?

Expand full comment
Aug 18, 2020Liked by Ryan O'Hanlon

When Di Maria does his heart celebration I pretend he's directing it at me

Expand full comment
author

Congrats to Ryan for HIS victory. Not much else to say here; PSG, with Neymar, Di Maria, and Mbappe all playing, are always gonna be better than just about everyone they play. RBL were unlucky not to grab one, but none of the good chances came until the game was way out of reach. Final xG count: 3.38 to 1.29. I wrote this piece (https://www.espn.com/soccer/uefa-champions-league/story/4052884/psg-to-win-the-champions-league-neymarmbappe-and-co-compare-closest-to-past-10-winners) a couple months ago about how PSG look like a CL champion -- control the pitch and tempo, dominate shots, rarely give up good chances -- and nothing about the past two matches suggests otherwise.

Expand full comment
author

Two subs ... and Neymar, Kimpembe, and Mbappe are all still out there lol. There might be some fitness argument to this, I guess? Maybe extra game-time is important before Sunday after all their time off? Probably not, though!

Expand full comment
author

That Paredes volley overwhelmed me with nostalgia. You don't see guys try those shots too much anymore.

Expand full comment
author

Let's see how PSG hold up when the other team has the best player on the field for once.

Expand full comment
author

Nkunku off at half. Woof. Really rough two games for him in the After-Werner Era.

Expand full comment

You know the game is over when the commentators starting mentioning Istanbul as soon as the score is 3-0.

Expand full comment

I'm ready to trade one of my kidneys if that ensures that the club backed by a nation famous for human rights abuse suffers like all those people that have suffered under this Qatar regime.

Expand full comment
Aug 18, 2020Liked by Ryan O'Hanlon

if we blow this i will never watch soccer again

Expand full comment
Aug 18, 2020Liked by Ryan O'Hanlon

remember when our manager was unai emery lmfaooooooooooo

Expand full comment
Aug 18, 2020Liked by Ryan O'Hanlon

wearing my kimpembe jersey if anybody was wondering

Expand full comment
Aug 18, 2020Liked by Ryan O'Hanlon

Rewatched the Ringer 2018 World Cup videos :,( just to remember what life was like...great job!

Expand full comment
Aug 18, 2020Liked by Ryan O'Hanlon

i put my animal crossing character in a full psg kit

Expand full comment
Aug 18, 2020Liked by Ryan O'Hanlon

changing my first name to Marquinhos

Expand full comment
author

Who's your man of the match? Again, don't just give me a name; give me a reason.

Expand full comment
author

Tuchel hasn't made a sub yet. Bizarre.

Expand full comment
author

Go back and read the intro to this chat. I'm an idiot.

Expand full comment
author

lmfao NEYMAR

Expand full comment

RB Leipzig, more than anything else to me I think, really drives home the differences in sports culture between the US and Europe. Is there any doubt that they would be venerated as a forward thinking, smart, advanced team in the US? The Astros (pre-cheating scandal) of European football.

RB +320

Expand full comment

Can't wait to see Messi in the Di Maria spot

Expand full comment

Is franco gonna do a watch along for the europa league final

Expand full comment

What was that tuchel talk at the end?

Expand full comment

TYLER ADAMS SUPER SUB HYPE TRAIN! GET ON BOARD

Expand full comment

Tired: Upamecano OR Kimpembe

Wired: start em together

Expand full comment

Barca and Man U just cried a little watching that goal

Expand full comment

upamecano is so fuckin good, chelsea need to buy him

Expand full comment

I'M SO HAPPY!!

Expand full comment

Finally mbappe comes off

Expand full comment

i cried when united got that penalty last year

Expand full comment

get neymar and mbappe off the pitch ffs

Expand full comment

Unless Tuchel wants the same boot that he is wearing, for Mbappe, take him off the field

Expand full comment

LMAO GET FUCKED

Expand full comment

Neymar saving his goals for the final = BOSS move.

Expand full comment

PSG winning this tournament or not will not in any way stop Qatar from abusing human rights but a part of me hopes that they never win this tournament. I mean the curse of Bambino lasted for almost a century and no one was killed in that process. PSG's failures should at least for a millenium.

Expand full comment

Bayern vs PSG might be the best final in terms of the high quality of both teams since Barca Man U

Expand full comment

Neymar and Mbappé legit might be the best two attacking players in the world

Expand full comment

Please don't bottle this Bayern, that'd be a phenomenal final

Expand full comment

What a disgusting pass from Neymar

Expand full comment

LETS FUCKIN GOOOOOO I LOVE THIS CLUB

Expand full comment

Neymar feels a lot like Dwyane Wade to me (Cavs fan here, so I had blind hatred for Heat players.) Hate him while he’s playing and then when he retires I’ll look back and realize that actually he was amazing and one of my favorite players ever

Expand full comment