376 Comments
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LMFAOOOOOO

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This is the best game I've ever seen. Defense is for losers.

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OK, that's it from me today: Loved doing this, as always. This game didn't need it, but you guys made it even more fun to watch. I'll leave you with this: first time since 2006 that Messi or Ronaldo won't be in the Champions League semifinals. We've known that it's a new era for a couple years now, but this is the kind of game that makes it official. Enjoy your Fridays, all.

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I wish we didn't have fake crowd noise right now. Watching this in a hollowed-out stadium would've been the movie of 2020.

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I mean .... what the fuck? It definitely felt like Bayern could win easily, but 8-2 at a neutral site?????? That's one of the most dominant wins at this level of the sport that you'll ever see; hell, it's probably the most dominant win you'll ever see. You don't get an 8-2 without one team being absolutely terrible and the other team being absolutely dominant. Bayern are a problem, and they're gonna be a problem for a long time: 26 shots and 5.58 expected goals. That's what you might expect against a fourth-division team from Rhineland. Barcelona, meanwhile, have no easy way out of this. All of their key players are gonna be a year older. All of their young players are babies and won't be at a full-time starter level for years. Maybe this is a good thing, though? A lopsided 3-2 loss makes it easy to think you can run it back. After this, can you do anything but burn it all down?

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Coutinho's created more than Messi ...

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MOST DANGEROUS LEAD IN SOCCER X2

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OK, everyone is obsessed with how to FIX Barcelona. But who cares. What I want to know: How would you break Barcelona even further?

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From a winning-more-trophies-before-it's-over perspective, Messi should absolutely leave Barcelona ASAP. There's just such a slim path toward this team being a contender any time soon. It's way more than just coaching. His and his club's timelines are just so far away from each other right now.

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We actually need Barcelona to sign Cristiano Ronaldo. They have to quadruple down on old players. I would watch every game.

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You guys don't think Barcelona are just a Mirajlem Pjanic away from being an elite team again?

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Barca have 57-percent possession and two shots. Bayern have 13 shots. This is the most feeble version of tiki-taka you'll ever see.

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YIKES

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Don't forget that Barca almost scored 30 seconds before Bayern slammed one in! This isn't over.

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Speaking of Germany,

Eat the fucking boot, Donnie

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Apparently Julio Cesar is one of the commentators for this game in Brazil. He can, uh, provide some authentic input. https://twitter.com/RBalta1/status/1294356948155076609

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This went from an amazing back-and-forth game to an absolute slaughter-fest in about five minutes. Welp.

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All of Barca's good chances and good possessions have come from long balls. Maybe, uh, do that?

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The MLS takeover of the Champions League continues, as we all predicted.

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Aug 14, 2020Liked by Ryan O'Hanlon

This game is what hearing rock music for the first time in the 50’s must have been like

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Aug 14, 2020Liked by Ryan O'Hanlon

clinical finish from alaba

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Are Barca just trolling at this point with the passes in their own box

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Listen, we've seen teams overturn a three-goal deficit in the second half of a Champions League matchup before ... right?

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Just feels like Bayern are giving Messi way too much time and way too much space on the outer edges of the attacking third. This line looks suicidal on TV, and the midfield isn't providing any pressure in their own half of the field.

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That got through like a half-inch window between Llenglet and Ter Stegen's feet. Wasn't a great angle, but all that space let Perisic cock back and rip one.

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Aug 14, 2020Liked by Ryan O'Hanlon

bet on bayern -.5 which almost guarantees a signature messi moment...i cant wait. also wonder how many days i can gamble on sports all afternoon and stay employed

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Where’s Messi been at. If only they had Cristi

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i know that felt better than sex for coutinho

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Aug 14, 2020Liked by Ryan O'Hanlon

That’s more like it from Perisic

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Aug 14, 2020Liked by Ryan O'Hanlon

i'm supposed to be working on a big project at work but i can't take my eyes off this game

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Aug 14, 2020Liked by Ryan O'Hanlon

it's like Barcelona walked around all season saving their energy so they could press like maniacs in this one game

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Oh my Davies

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Showing Coutinho on the bench is just salt in the wound

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Aug 14, 2020Liked by Ryan O'Hanlon

messi is about to turn into lebron during the 2015 finals

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this game is the right kind of stupid

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This is tremendous content

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Coutinho with the big middle finger to his club

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Coutinho now out-scoring and out-creating Messi ...

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OK, if Messi leaves Barcelona -- he won't, I don't think, but he should because it would be fun as hell -- where would you wanna see him go?

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Can America claim Alphonso Davies?

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Some more HT numbers. Barca have completed 231 passes to Bayern's 201. BUT Bayern have completed 51 passes in the final-third to Barca's 17 and 12 in the penalty area to Barca's three. Space > possession.

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Messi has one shot and hasn't created a chance yet. Amazing that Barca can have that much of the ball but can't get him involved.

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What do you guys think the xG tallies are right now? (I have them.)

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Will Setién get sacked before halftime

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whoever said germany brazil was on to something

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This isn't officially a chat until we start talking shit about Leon Goretzka. Things are moving too fast for me to focus.

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Barca are easily getting into those wide channels. Boateng-esque from Alaba. LET'S GO.

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Lol. Lol. That’s my expert opinion

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this is sad

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