56 Comments
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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Why have VAR if you're not going to give a penalty to Maguire for choking-out Azpilicueta in the box?

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Christopher Harwick's avatar

"Does he have a case?" - man who watches soccer games for a living

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Andrew ElHabr's avatar

Dave needed better hops to make it look more egregious

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YerAJediFrodo's avatar

So you can look at it and decide it's not a penalty. Duh.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

I normally do a halftime stat update, but when I went to look up the numbers, my eyes went black and the garbage-monster from the beginning of Mulholland Drive appeared. You guys know what happened without the data.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

I wish I could hear what Thiago Silva and Cavani are talking about right now.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

"Credit to Manchester United for still believing," he says, in a 0-0 game between two teams who are currently in the Champions League.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

For the second week in a row, I'm really sorry that we all had to watch that. United were slightly better, I guess, but "better" really doesn't feel like it has any right to be used in any discussion of this match. Neither of these teams seem like they're close to even performing at an average level for their team-wide talent, let alone exceeding it. Mendy looked good, which is both a positive development and a complete indictment of Chelsea's performance. Let us never speak of this match again. Go stare at cardboard or spread mayonnaise on some Wonderbread to get your heart rate back up to a living level. Enjoy the rest of the weekend, all. Thanks as always for hopping in and chatting.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Prediction: United start to perform better with a world-class goalscorer and midfielder now on the field.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Chelsea go out and buy every good young attacker in the world, so ... Frank Lampard opts for a system that requires five defenders. Interesting, interesting.

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YerAJediFrodo's avatar

Is that enough to contain McTominay? Time will tell.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

"Cavani's taken the bib off. This is a big moment."

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

The team with five defenders is also the team that's dominating the ball. Not an ideal mix for anyone who doesn't want to fall asleep until AFTER the match.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Here is an impossible question to answer: 70 minutes in, who is your Man of the Match?

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James Milner's Peloton's avatar

I mean, it has to be Cavani right? After taking the bib off.

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Despair, Repair's avatar

Pulisic for having Chelsea's only shot-on-goal...obviously!

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

OK, fine. One stat: Timo Werner has completed five passes, which makes him look like Neymar compared to Marcus Rashford's three. This is why we watch.

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Christopher Harwick's avatar

Here's hoping chaos reigns

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Charles's avatar

Dest and Fati definitely look like the future for Barça. Pique and Busi are cooked.

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Andrew ElHabr's avatar

wouldn't be shocked if this game by itself regressed the average scoring output of the league back to the mean

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Despair, Repair's avatar

Here comes Mason Greenwood and his howitzer cannon leg....**Activates defy xG function**

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Melvin's avatar

Mendy with the best moment of the match so far

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Melvin's avatar

*best for me at least

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Andrew ElHabr's avatar

looking like a repeat of the sevilla game so far

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Smozi's avatar

This game has 3-3 written all over it

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Philip Johnston's avatar

Wish list: Cavani goal with Pogba assist

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

To the point Arlo White just made on the broadcast: It's, uh, not quite true. Chelsea have only allowed the eight-fewest shots so far this season, and they're only 12th in expected goals against.

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Melvin's avatar

Cavani to come on and miss a sitter for ***narrative***

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Christopher Harwick's avatar

Chaos in fact, did not reign

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Despair, Repair's avatar

I think Mendy is allowed to have a howler after that save....hell of a reaction

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James Milner's Peloton's avatar

If crosses are analogous to post-ups in basketball, is Reece James the Jahlil Okafor of the EPL?

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

And if soccer is 15 years behind the NBA in its thinking, Reece James will be a multi-time All-Star.

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Andrew ElHabr's avatar

if you're playing a wingback system and confident you're going to have a lot of possession in the opponent half, are we sure that inverted wingbacks are a terrible idea? just thinking of spicy ideas out of boredom

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

You'd probably have a hard time creating any width at all, but it can't be worse than this!

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Melvin's avatar

This game is less exciting than waiting for the green light on my waffle iron

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Last week, I banned Arsenal from being the subject of any future chats. Might be adding two more teams shortly ...

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Quinn's avatar

Damn, I was hoping there would be a chat for Chelsea's upcoming 3-3 draw with Sheffield United

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Avi Tyagi's avatar

As expected, this made Arsenal look good.

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Smozi's avatar

Man Utd (0.07) 0-0 (0.03) Chelsea

Is this the worst xG tally in recorded history?

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Despair, Repair's avatar

What's the funniest way this game ends?

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Maguire own goal followed by a terrible error by Mendy that leads to a Bruno Fernandes penalty to tie things up in injury time.

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James Milner's Peloton's avatar

No one deserves joy or happiness from watching this game.

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Melvin's avatar

Mendy howler worse than any one Kepa has had

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Jonathan's avatar

How much better would these teams be with different managers?

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Imagine either one -- but specifically Chelsea -- with Mauricio Pochettino. Seems like such an easy, obvious upgrade.

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Melvin's avatar

As a spurs fan, I’m in a real predicament; obviously I want both of these teams to be shit, but not SO shit that they fire their manager & hire Poch.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

Maybe you'll get lucky and re-hire Poch next December after the inevitable third-season meltdown?

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Quinn's avatar

Tuned in 10 minutes ago and thus far I cannot be happier with the decision I made to watch Inter instead of this

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Swan's avatar

Question for those who have played at a high level: how much tougher is it playing in these super wet conditions? Apologies for the noob content.

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

It's harder to control the ball in tight spaces with different parts of your feet -- see: Fred trying to roll past CP and falling down in the first half -- but passes also move a lot faster on the ground. You get used to it pretty quickly after kick-off -- especially in England where it rains every day.

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Swan's avatar

thanks!

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YerAJediFrodo's avatar

Pulisic starting to get some things going

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YerAJediFrodo's avatar

What was the story with City this morning? Couldn't watch the match, but saw less than one xG apiece. KdB hurt? Why didn't he start?

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Ryan O'Hanlon's avatar

He's been hurt for a a little while now. This seems to be Pep's solution to City's defense: strangle the life out of the game and hope it goes you way. They've allowed a combined 0.5 xG over their last two games ... but they just don't create much now, either.

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James's avatar

Sounds like Chelsea, but without anyone being injured!

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Melvin's avatar

Are Chelsea really trying to defend in a low block?

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